Interpersonal conflict is defined as a situation in which one or both persons in a relationship are experiencing disagreement or collision in working or living with each other. At this point, we can decide whether to confront the conflict directly or to ignore its existence by suppressing it. However, conflict is not necessarily being destructive as the process of recognizing conflict usually strengthens relationships.
Below is an example of an interpersonal conflict that happened between Estee and Ann.
Estee and Ann are friends since high school and three months ago both of them have enter the same University. During high school, Estee is a very active student in sport and music while Ann is a very clever but passive girl. Due to her character, Estee is always surrounded by a big group of friends. However, as Ann is the only friend who enters the same University as her, Estee began to pay more attention at Ann. Estee will ask Ann out for meal whenever she is free and try to introduce her new friends to Ann as she wants to broaden Ann’s social circle. However, Ann seems to be very cold and not interested with her ideas. Even if both of them are having lunch with other friends, Ann acts very weird and she don’t even have the courtesy to wait for others to begin the meal. All her friends commented on Ann’s behavior as she is getting more passive and always alone by herself. As Estee is Ann’s only close friend in this foreign land, Estee thinks that she has the responsible to help Ann to adapt to the University life better. Sadly, Estee has no idea how to bring up this topic to Ann as she afraid that it will eventually hurt Ann and affects their friendship.
In this context, what are the feasible solutions for solving the interpersonal conflict between Estee and Ann?
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I think everyone would want to have a buddy like Estee:) However, it is not exactly her responsibility to help Ann cope with her life in the University. Because, ultimately, it is Ann who needs to make an effort to adapt to the environment by herself.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Estee can try to talk with Ann in private. She could start with telling Ann that as a friend, she has been worried about whether Ann is coping well with her new surroundings (instead of saying that she doesn't seem to want to make new friends). This would probably help Ann to open up more to Estee and share her problems with Estee. From the description you have given, I gather that Ann is pretty closed up and can be rather sensitive. I guess the most crucial point is to let Ann bring down that psychological barrier she has built to isolate herself from the rest.
Hi Cher,
ReplyDeleteI do agree with Yuka's opinion. It's not necessary for Estee to be responsible for helping Ann to adapt to the new environment. Everyone has to take up her/his own responsibility for her/his own survival.
Although they have different personalities, I can perceive that Estee is a close of friend of Ann or at least a friend who concerns about Ann very much since they have knew each other for so long. Ann's not-so-sociable behaviour might be the result of her shyness when she is meeting new people especially in a foreign land when everything seems so new and unfamiliar to her. Another possible reason is maybe she doesn't feel comfortable with the idea of meeting up or communicating with people whom she is not close with. Whatever the reasons that might be, I feel that Estee should have a talk with Ann in order to understand her better and to find out the root of the problem as to why she is behaving such a way. Estee can bring up the topic by asking her how's she doing in university, is she happy with her new life,is she facing any problems in her studies or other areas etc.
Besides that, instead of Estee always being the one who ask Ann out, maybe other people from the same group of friends in the University should take the initiative to ask Ann so that she feels more belong to the group.
Hi Cher,
ReplyDeleteI believe honesty will be appreciated if it's intended to help, and not hurt the person.
Strive to understand why Ann is doing those "weird behavior" (remember our class on developing EQ?)From there, work towards making Ann realise that her behavior appears unfriendly to others, keeping in mind to be tactful always. Hopefully, Ann will not feel that Estee is nitpicking all her faults and accepts Estee's comments graciously.
Agreeing with Yuka and Sau Yeen, if Estee has already given her best, then it's up to Ann to make the change.
This is a well-organized, very interesting and relevant scenario, Cher. Since it involves schoolmates, there is definitely something here for your blogging group members to see as pertinent to their own lives; and indeed, you've generated good feedback with this case.
ReplyDeleteI won't comment on solutions, since that's the task at hand for your group. I will say though that there are a few language problems. Look at the verb tense here; "During high school, Estee is a very active student in sport and music while Ann is a very clever but passive girl."
We discussed similar sentences in class, right? Please review your post for other language issues.
Thank you once again for your effort!
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI am agree with Yuka and Sau Yeen's opinion that everyone has to take up her own responsibility when trying to adapt to the new environment. And it think Ann will finally realise that she is not alone in this foreign land and there are so many friends who are always stand by her side.
Evelia,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thanks for your comments. I agree with you that "honesty will be appreciated if it's intended to help, and not hurt the person". Hopefully that Estee may help Ann to adapt to the new environment and they can be best friend in the future.
Brad,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your advices. I will be more careful next when dealing with language. I may know many different languages but to master well seem to be hard. But i will try to do so. Maybe begin with English?